I am a natural born rule follower. I follow directions, I follow instructions, I obey signs, I obey laws. It’s just who I am and the way I work. If I think about breaking the rules, I also break out in a sweat.
My tween daughter has begged me for a Facebook account for EVER. It’s been several years, I’m sure. She’s argued her point excessively, punctuating it frequently with a “But, MOM, ALL of my friends have one! THEIR parents allow it!” Up til now, I’ve countered with the clause that in the Facebook “rules” it states that an account is allowed after the age of thirteen, and that will be when we revisit this discussion.
However, then we moved. My daughter wanted to be able to keep in touch with all of her old friends in both our hometown, and our last neighbourhood. I knew a move was going to be difficult, and I knew easing it in any way that I could would be of utmost importance. So, I caved.
Let me lay this down for you here, though. I have access to her account, I monitor it daily, and I managed all of the settings. She’s not allowed to play any games or accept anyone that she doesn’t physically, in person, know. Her profile is set as private as Facebook can be.
It’s definitely been a good thing for her. She’s been able to feel connected not only to old friends, but also to family. I think in some way, Facebook has made her worlds not feel as far away and encloses her circle of friends.
We just moved to our new province ten months ago, and now we are being moved once again. We’ve enjoyed literally every single moment in our new home, and my daughter made fast friends, bonded in a way to them that I haven’t seen her ever do previously. This move, though only being here a short time, is our hardest one yet. We’re actually moving “home” so we have that going for us, and being close to family will certainly be welcome. For a tween though, friendships are everything.
I never thought I’d see the day that I’d not only be comfortable breaking a rule, but thankful for it.
We went through the very same debate and it was a hard sell because the majority of dd peers were on FB. When we decided to allow it we had the very same rules (I monitor it, accept only people you know…) and she has been very responsible with it. She has re-connected with lost friends from life abroad, has maintained friendships as friends have moved on and relatives (most of our family lives in other cities and countries) enjoy her updates and the closeness it brings. It is a sense of community and belonging and as you said friendship is everything to them… to everyone. It’s been a great experience so far!
I think it’s a great way to stay connected. And since you monitor her activity, I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. I have thought of getting a facebook account for my youngest son, but haven’t done it yet. I let him play games through my account, but we play them together.
I hope the move ‘home’ is a good one for you. I know you struggle with leaving the place you are now, the place you’ve come to truly love in such a short time. Thinking of you!!
Oh no! You’re moving? I would have caved too. My 6 year old already wants one…not yet darlin, not yet